Last night when I got home my son is lying in the bed he told me that he is dizzy. But I felt that he is not telling the truth because he was not able to finish his worksheets, my initial reaction is to get mad because first he was lying second he was just pretending to feel something to be excused and third he is just lazy to study so he can play all the day. Since I am so tired from  work and coming home a little bit late because my car broke down and thinking once again how much damage can cause me, I am not aware that my frustrations burst out to him

When I saw him crying and he went to his lola to pacify and put him into sleep, I feel so guilty how I can do this to my six year old son who is waiting for me the whole day to spend time with me. I feel so helpless at the same time I am so ashamed of myself, I can’t help but to cry. After dinner, I carried him back to our room, I embrace, kiss him many times and I said sorry for being a bad mom and I love him so much.

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I feel guilty for not being with him the whole time because I need to work, God knows that I am trying my best to juggle my time to be with him.

I feel guilty for being a bad mom sometimes because I am tired from work, but deep inside I am crying and I feel so guilty.

I feel guilty that I cannot accompany him the whole time for his summer activities but I am trying my best to give him the best family weekend time.

I feel guilty that I cannot provide all his wants, because I need to teach him that not everything you like you can get it.

I feel guilty that sometimes I need to choose between him and my boss, but this is the reality I am a working mom,

I feel guilty that I cannot bring him to school every day, but I make it sure that he is well groom before going to school

I feel guilty that I cannot help him with his assignments when he get home from school, but I make it sure that every night we study and he is ready for the next day.

I feel guilty that I am not home maker, but I am trying to learn how to cook and bake goodies for him

I feel guilty that I cannot play with him the whole day, but twice a month I make it sure that we have a mommy and son date.

I feel guilty that he cannot tell me stories on the spot, but I make it sure that every night we talked about our day.

And my list go on …………………………………………………………………………..

Before I become a mom I already have this thing in my mind, because deep inside I know I cannot give up my work that easily. If I had to choose, of course without a blink I will choose motherhood over career.

 

Being a working is mentally and physically challenging, I need to make time for everyone and to be the best. I don’t know how long I will work but being a mom is forever and never ending job.

My guilty feeling serves my inspiration to strive to be the best and focused.

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